Beer me, Chicago St. Louis!

Last summer, while traveling around western Canada, I discovered yet another reason why Chicago is so much lamer than just about anywhere else. I made the discovery at the bar of the hostel I was staying at in Victoria, BC.

"Do you have anything local?" I asked the bartender, pointing at three taps with unrecognizable labels.

"All three of these are local," he replied. "Here, try this one." He poured me a pint and told me one of his favorite beer stories. The tiny microbrewery (name unimportant because I forgot it) was started a few years back by two friends with a passion for making beer and two credit cards. They maxed out the credit cards on equipment and ingredients, brewed some pretty darn good beer, and today sell enough to make a decent living. The other two beers at that bar had similar stories--small local companies distributing their craft beers to the regional market.

This is what separates Chicago from the rest of the world. While just about every place I visit has several local beers doing decent business, we have very few microbreweries. And now, with Anheuser-Busch possibly looking into buying an ownership stake in Goose Island, it looks like we'll have zero true Chicago-based regional beers. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but I can't think of a single Chicago beer brand other than Goose Island that's sold at Osco or my corner liquor store, but there are plenty from California, Michigan, and the East Coast. Why is it that Chicagoans identify themselves with Miller or Budweiser products, and sometimes jokingly with Old Style?

What we need is an entrepreneur with a dream and a credit card, someone willing to risk years of debt to pump out some quality beer. And what that brewer will need is customer support for a local product. Is that possible?

I say of course it's possible, but what we really need is a good brand name. I've never loved the name Goose Island (because even though I get the reference, it still doesn't sound like Chicago to me). I've never been a huge fan of Honkers either, even though I do love their current seasonal beer, the dark and creamy Christmas ale. Anyway, I promise to love the beer if the company uses one of these names:

* Big Shoulders/Big Bellies Beer

* The Slats Grobnik Beer Company

* Gentrified Neighborhood Beer

* Reversed River Brewery

* Patronage Special

OK, maybe this is why I don't work in marketing, but can you do better?