When it comes to dirty minds, Chicago has Elmhurst beat

Humorous article in the Sun-Times today tells us that Elmhurst, which advertises itself as "a wonderful place to live and raise families," was No. 1 in the nation last month when it came to people searching for the word "sex" on google trends, a new service offered by the search site.

The mayor of the town of 42,762 said, "We don't have gentlemen's clubs or porn shops, so maybe that's why they go online."

Chicago, by the way, is No. 6 on that list.

The Sun-Times story was funny, but totally insincere. In order to find Elmhurst, you have to specifically search only in the "United States" during "April 2006." If you do an "all regions," "all years" search, here's the top 10 when it comes to googling "sex":
1. Cairo, Egypt
2. Chennai, India
3. Delhi, India
4. Mumbai, India
5. Ankara, Turkey
6. Istanbul, Turkey
7. Warsaw, Poland
8. Brussels, Belgium
9. Zurich, Switzerland
10. Amsterdam, Netherlands

That's more like it. And it explains why some countries are growing so much faster than we are.

But what about other sex-related terms? Will Elmhurst pop up if we try "hot sex"? Nope. Instead, we get ...
1. Cairo
2. Delhi
3. Chennai
4. Mumbai
5. Melbourne, Australia
6. Sydney, Australia
7. CHICAGO
8. Seattle
9. Toronto
10. Philadelphia

Elmhurst isn't No. 1 even if you google "Elmhurst." Wheaton is No. 1 on that search.

The trouble with computer tools such as this one is that they are extremely addictive. I just spent a good 30 minutes typing in random words to see where Chicago lands. Here are the results from this time well spent:

"Group sex" Chicago is No. 7 (Delhi is No. 1)

"Gay sex" Chicago is No. 3 (Birmingham, U.K., is No. 1)

"Lesbian sex" Chicago is No. 2 (Irvine is No. 1)

"Balls" Chicago is No. 4 (Tampa is No. 1)

"Dirty" Chicago is No. 6 (Birmingham, U.K., is No. 1)

"Vagina" Chicago is No. 10 (Jakarta, Indonesia, is No. 1)

"Crotch" Chicago is No. 5 (Rochester is No. 1)

"Bullshit" Chicago is No. 6. (St. Louis is No. 1)

"Fuck" Chicago is No. 5 (Delhi is No. 1)

"Hand job" Chicago is No. 2 (St. Louis is No. 1)

"Anal sex" Chicago is No. 3 (Ankara, Turkey, is No. 1)

"Child porn" Chicago is No. 10 (The top 3 are cities in Turkey)

"Egg salad" Chicago is No. 5 (Minneapolis is No. 1)

"Eat me" Chicago is No. 8 (Rochester is No. 1)

I searched just about every phrase I could think of to see if I could find Elmhurst anywhere in the top 10. Finally, it showed up when I least expected it. Here are the top 3 (well, the only three) results when searching for the phrase "Cubs suck":

1. Elmhurst
2. Chicago
3. St. Louis

I'm starting to like Elmhurst a lot more. But when it comes to anything to do with sex, Chicago is somewhere in the top 10 from around the world, appearing more times than Cairo or Delhi, and almost as many times as St. Louis. However, in case you're starting to think we're all horny studs getting it on all the time, here are a few searches where, finally, Chicago is No. 1:

• McDonald's
• hot dogs
• love handles