CTA unveils plans for "white" line

CHICAGO (ap) -- Now that most high rise housing projects near downtown have been torn down and replaced by pricey townhomes, now that most poor people have moved out and been replaced by white yuppies, the CTA has unveiled plans for an inner-circle route connecting Chicago's entire public transportation network.

Whichever of the three proposals is chosen, CTA officials assure potential riders that only white, middle-class customers will benefit.

"We don't anticipate there being any reason for a person of color to ever need to use this service," the agency's press release stated. "The residents within this inner circle are predominantly white, and with housing prices going nowhere but up, poor people will no longer live in the area by the time this thing is built."