Monday, May 01, 2006

Area man attending rally in hopes of finding wife

Chicago resident and U.S. citizen Andy Planet is joining hundreds of thousands of marchers in the streets today, protesting for immigration rights and hoping to find a wife.

"I can't believe the laws this country is trying to pass. We need immigrant labor," Planet said. "Plus, I can't believe how many women I can potentially meet who would love to marry a citizen so that they can stay in this country legally."

The 35-year-old advertising copy writer is planning to call in sick in order to attend the day's festivities. He also plans to have his passport available for inspection to potential wives.

"I don't really care where she's from," he said. "Some kind of Asian would be great. But Latinas are pretty damn hot, too."

Unlike other U.S. citizens, who charge immigrants hefty fees to marry, Planet said there are no strings attached "as long as she's kinky."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

hope you were able to score a wife at the rally. And if not, at least a housekeeper.

1:35 PM  
Blogger ap said...

Update: No luck! Planet reports that the women were not receptive to the offer, despite the fact that he wore a t-shirt with famous got-milk lettering which said, "Get green card!" However, he did report that he got an offer of gay sex from a weirdo identifying himself as Senor Anon ...

7:26 AM  
Blogger GrandOverseerPickle said...

Incriminating evidence? Possibly. Good fun? Definately!

8:12 PM  

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