Solve problems the Chicago Cubs way

Are things going badly for you? Are you a pathetic loser? Need to fire up your life? Just add Michael Barrett to the picture ...



Are you sick and tired of the Church telling you who you can and can't sleep with, and then having its priests check out your son's ass*?



Have you had it up to here with the President telling you to fuck off, that he's got a mandate and can attack whoever the hell he wants?



Are you disgusted with the President's/FOX News spokesman later telling you that, no, the President did not just give you the finger?



Are you burned out by inane campaign commercials attacking the opponent six months before the general election?



Oh hell, are you the Governor, pissed that random minority "candidates" are threatening to run against you if you don't meet their demands?



Are you upset that this little goose is cuter than you and that more girls would rather sleep with it than you? You know what to do, Cub fan.



Or, I suppose, if Michael Barrett isn't a big enough psycho for you, you could always bring in Carlos Zambrano, the Big "Z" ... oh yeah!



* Joke about the priest checking out your son's ass stolen from the grandoverseerpickle.