Since it was deleted elsewhere ...

So there was this little contest over at another blog that went like this:

... what really caught my attention was the closing tag line: "When you get to know Jim Oberweis, you know he's right for Illinois."
Ok, now this is almost too good to ask for, so let's all have some fun.
Finish this sentence:
"When you get to know Jim Oberweis, you....."

The person posting the best line would win dinner. Well, I didn't care about winning the dinner, so I posted my entry under an assumed name. Twenty minutes later, my "comment" was deleted off the site. While it wasn't the funniest stuff I've ever written in my life, I did put 10 minutes of thought into it, and I HATE having my stuff censored, so I present it here:

TOP TEN CLOSING TAG LINES REJECTED BY THE OBERWEIS CAMPAIGN
"When you get to know Jim Oberweis, you ...

10. ... know never to use that on-line dating service again."
9. ... stop believing in intelligent design."
8. ... pray that Roe v. Wade never gets overturned."
7. ... realize you've always wanted to move to California."
6. ... understand why Blago will be reelected."
5. ... know he's right for Illinois fanatics."
4. ... see that God does exist, and He loves irony."
3. ... wish you had a gun the ability to go back in time and deny the Oberweis family legal entry to this country."
2. ... appreciate the fact that you are lactose intolerant."
1. ... and he must be the last two people on the planet."

The winner, by the way, wrote:
"try to remember what he is running for this time."

(Yeah, this is how I spend a day off. Pathetic. I'm going out now ... for some photo-fun!)