Friday, February 03, 2006

Kids website prepares president for next emergency

CHICAGO (ap) — Rex the Mountain Lion, the Department of Homeland Security's newest terrorism fighter, introduced himself to the world yesterday and unveiled a Web site aimed at preparing children and the president for the horrors of the eternal War on Terror.

"Nothing is more important than fear, and scaring young people is a real element in ensuring they grow up to hate evil and eventually volunteer for the armed services," Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said.

"You're never too young to racially profile," Mayor Richard Daley said as he introduced the costumed mascot, who is dressed as if recently returned from a tour of duty in the mountains of Afghanistan. "In fact, stereotyping is like a second language—it's easier to learn when you're younger."

A Daley Show investigation of the Ready Kids web site reveals how it will walk children and President Bush through the proces of making an emergency supply kit and developing emergency plans. It also offers colorful games to help the president's family practice disaster skills, some of which were demonstrated in a Chicago school yesterday.

According to Michael Chertoff, Homeland Security chief, the web site is written in language understandable to any child. For example, the "COMMUNICATE!" fact sheet, below, was written so that even President Bush can read it himself. Asked if the fact sheet was placed on the site by accident, Chertoff responded, "We want to make sure that everyone is prepared for the next emergency. Not all of us have the time or ability to read the daily CIA briefs."

Click on the image to enlarge these emergency instructions.

15 Comments:

Anonymous The Mom said...

The president's emergency instructions don't show up clearly when I click on it. How about giving the link?? I have a few grandkids that need a scare.....

8:13 AM  
Blogger ap said...

Crap! It looks fine on my home computer using Safari. But on Explorer it's not showing up ... sorry, I'll try to work on it but I am at work so I probably won't get to it 'til late this afternoon.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous he said she said...

you should cross post this at dailykos. I think they would love it over there and that website needs a little color anyway. The presidents instructions made me lol. Very funny, keep it up

11:43 AM  
Blogger ap said...

so you were able to read it? I still can't at work ...

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are those HUMAN-ANIMAL HYBRIDS at the department of homeland security? The horror!

1:01 PM  
Anonymous he said she said...

yes, looks fine on my Internet Explorer a bit fuzzy but I can zoom in and all good

1:09 PM  
Blogger thepoetryman said...

Crawl under your school desk kiddies and take "My Pet Goat" with ya! It's like we're jettisoned back to 1958!

1:28 PM  
Blogger thepoetryman said...

Brought to you by the

US Department of Homeland Stupidity

1:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is anyone going to the ward 35 event on saturday afternoon at the abbey pub? i'm looking for more information, so if anyone knows anything i'd love to hear about it.

2:39 PM  
Blogger FresH20 said...

Is that a lion in sheep's clothing? As global warming drives those guys off the glaciers and into our domestic midst, I'm glad to see that the government is finding productive employment for them. The last time I dealt with mountain lions, my grandfather was lured by an eery howling sound from atop my grandparent's roof. He stepped out into the night yard for a closer look at the shingles to find two of the beasts copulating by the chimney. Glad to see George Bush's abstinence inititiative is having a positive effect on the species. What an ingenius direction for wayward energies!

4:08 PM  
Blogger ap said...

Regarding the Ward 35 question: Sorry, I don't know anything about it. The only point I can make is that I was born and raised in the 35th, but now live well north and east of it ...

11:12 PM  
Blogger ap said...

OK, it's Saturday a.m. and I finally updated the image. Can you read the COMMUNICATE page? I'd hate to think that an emergency might happen and the president wouldn't be able to read these important instructions.

9:29 AM  
Anonymous The Mom said...

I can read it now!!!

10:03 AM  
Blogger thepoetryman said...

Funny! In a very sad way... and oddly enough, hilarious at the same time!

http://origin63.blogspot.com/

2:04 AM  
Blogger thepoetryman said...

Unknown Liberty

1:31 AM  

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