Trying to keep track of new legislation

How aware are you of the legislation that your elected officials are considering these days? Take this little news quiz and find out.

1. Rep. Paul Froehlich recently proposed what he thought would be a simple crackdown on fake identification: His idea was to offer legal protection to bouncers and businesses should they confiscate a license or ID that turned out to be genuine. Why are others in an uproar over this bill?
A. Some fear that bouncers could use the new legal protection to turn away minorities under the excuse they thought the IDs were fake.
B. Some are worried that a bouncer that confiscates a genuine ID can be sued.
C. Many are thinking, "Wait a second, if it's illegal for private individuals to confiscate an individual's ID, that motherfucker at Otto's had no right to take mine that one time!"

2. A couple of Illinois lawmakers are calling on the state to adopt a law that would mandate how many nurses a hospital would have to have for each patient. What's the rationale?
A. A nurse-to-patient ratio saves lives, money and keeps overworked nurses from burning out.
B. Tired nurses make mistakes leading to lawsuits.
C. Just the thought of hot young Filipino nurses giving patients sponge baths every hour makes me want to come down with a life-threatening illness.

3. Two dueling pieces of legislation concerning the regulation of wine production, sales and shipping in Illinois have advanced to the state's House for consideration. Which is NOT one of the bills?
A. House Bill 4350, backed by the lobbying group Associated Beer Distributors of Illinois, would let wineries ship directly just two cases of wine each year to customers and only after that buyer made the initial purchase in person at the winery.
B. House Bill 4444 is supported by the Illinois Grape Growers and Vintners Association, would allow each Illinois winery to run up to 10 shops for wine sales and to ship up to three cases of wine to each customer per month.
C. House Bill 4567, which has the support of people with good taste, would require that the so-called Illinois wineries flush the 500,000 gallons of wine they produce each year down the nearest toilet.



ANSWER KEY: Obviously, the correct answer for each question is C. How'd you do?