Really, Mom, I have to watch TV for homework

As everyone knows, college students get to take plenty of blow-off classes. Underwater basket weaving, bowling, Psych 101, and the study of horror and fantasy films all come to mind.

A quick search for these kinds of courses resulted in one at my alma mater that I didn't know about when I was there:

Xtreme Lit is a six credit academic adventure offered through the English department at Northern Illinois University. One of several adventure-oriented courses operated by Outpost Wilderness Adventures (OWA), Xtreme Lit is a summer adventure that lets you immerse yourself in the works of nature-loving authors such as Emerson, Thoreau, Muir and others, while backpacking, mountain climbing and fly fishing in the heart of the Colorado Rockies. This is one course you will want to repeat.

Darn, missed that one.

Anyway, the kids spending the most on their education got a chance to watch a football game last night and tell their parents it was for class. A group of 35 business students at the Kellogg School of Business rated and discussed Super Bowl commercials. Apparently, they liked the Dove commercial, not necessarily all the beer and godaddy ads.

Somehow, in my haste to get through college in four years, I missed out on all the fun classes. I never once watched TV or hiked for homework. The only thing remotely fun I did was once when I had to drive a university-owned car to some suburb to do some observations. On the drive home, I noticed chunks of snow falling off a truck's roof. "Wonder what would happen if one of those chunks hit this car," I said to my passengers. Ten seconds later another chunk flew off, I sped up just a bit and aimed, and the snow smashed into our windshield. Result? The entire driver's side windshield wiper was ripped off and I couldn't see anything for the next 10 miles because of all the road salt.

Anyway, while I can't go back in time to take some fun undergraduate courses, perhaps it's not too late to invent a course and return to school to teach it. Let's see ... if I could teach anything, what would it be? Let me consult with my new-and-improved TV Guide for ideas ...

Unreal Reality: Would the Beauty Ever Go for the Geek?

The Oprah Factor: Connecting Her Tears and Book Sales

Grey's Anatomy vs. ER: Who's Got the Hottest Doctors?

FOX News and Other Forms of Propaganda

Chicago Tonight with Bob Sirot: The Dumb Years

Dancing with Celebrities Who Do Everything Better Than You

To sign up for any of these classes, please email me your bank account information. Today's homework: Watch TV. And post a comment about the commercials or college courses you like.