Monday, January 23, 2006

Survey says: It's time for meaningless poll numbers!

SPRINGFIELD (ap) -- With many months to go before the election, it's time to see what the people think (or if they think) about the candidates. Just a couple of days ago, Gov. Rod Blagojevich beat gubernatorial primary candidate Judy Baar Topinka in a poll measuring which person is more "favorable."

Intrigued by these early returns, The Daley Show decided to join in the fun and interviewed 800 likely Illinois voters at dive bars around the state. The poll, conducted by the non-profit international research organization FACT 1999, has an error margin of 39.5 percentage points. The voters were asked to comment on the governor's race, as well as other important political stories. Following are the results:

Can you name a Republican candidate for governor other than Topinka?
88% No
10% Who's Topinka? A Russian?
2% Yes

Which candidate would you prefer to party with, Blagojevich or Topinka?
32% Topinka
7% Blagojevich
61% Um, I'm rearranging my sock drawer that night

Which candidate would you vote off the island?
61% Topinka
31% Blagojevich
8% The homosexual. One of 'em is gay, right?

Which statewide issue is most important to you?
16% Avoiding the drama of time-zone changes
11% The next nominee for the Illinois Supreme Court
5% Coal mine safety
4% Illegal immigrants working at ice cream shops
64% I don't have issues, OK man?

Do you support the governor's proposal for keno to pay for schools?
37% Yes
33% I thought that's what the lottery was for
30% Only if they use the machines to teach kids about probabilities

How do you feel about all this talk of airport expansion?
45% I'm afraid of flying. Aren't we still in code orange on the terror alert?
40% We should expand Gary Chicago
3% We should build in Peotone
1% We should bring back Meigs Field!
1% We should bring back Hooters Air!

Did Barack Obama make a mistake in promising on "Meet the Press" Sunday that he would finish his six-year term as senator and not run for president or vice president?
82% Yes
18% No ... wait, I don't get the question

Would you be upset if Obama broke that promise and ran anyway?
99% No
1% Undecided

Who should Obama choose as his running mate?
89% It doesn't matter
10% Anyone but Blagojevich
1% Any female other than Hillary

What is Mayor Daley's rationale for making a bid for the Olympics?
53% Something about getting better transportation
40% Something about another NFL team
7% Something about all these hired truckers that need something to do

How much would it take to get you to vote for our candidate?
72% One month's gas bill
22% $100 spread out over two years
6% Ah, just tell me who the winner is already


Blogger art attack said...

You know what, I believe the results of this poll about as much as any other news media poll, especially now with diebold machines popping up all over the country, ensuring Republican victories until the final collapse of our nation.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Cal Skinner said...

Thanks for several of the laughs I need every day to keep healthy!

11:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12:50 PM  

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