Promises Blagojevich did not make

SPRINGFIELD (ap) -- Contending he has turned the face of a "bloated, ineffective" state government into one that helps families "buy better condos," Gov. Rod Blagojevich delivered a State of the State speech yesterday that laid out his re-election strategy of challenging Republican policies in Washington.

Addressing members of the Illinois House and Senate, the Democratic governor touted new initiatives including a plea for supporting a $3.2 billion public works construction plan, a $1,000 college tuition tax credit for parents and expanded health care for veterans, despite a still-bleak state financial situation.

In addition to looking forward, Blagojevich used the 39-minute speech to highlight some of his accomplishments from the past three years and attack some of his rivals. In case you missed it (and, come on, who beside me watched the darn speech?), here are some key points he made:

On building more I-Pass lanes: "We need to do a better job of collecting tolls."

On the raised cigarette taxes: "We need to do a better job of paying for cigarette-related health care costs."

On his Keno proposal: "We need to do a better job of getting every last dollar from the working poor to pay for programs for them."

On school lunches: "We need to do a better job of cleaning rat droppings before the children arrive each day."

On violent video games: "We need to do a better job of teaching our children proper gun safety rules."

On prescription drug prices: "We need to do a better job of fighting this war on drugs."

On his hairdo: "My hairspray needs to do a better job of keeping my helmet in place."

On Wilson Avenue drivers: "They need to do a better job of avoiding me as I jog into the road."

On President Bush: "I need to do a better job of ignoring problems here in Illinois by talking about national policies that I have nothing to do with."

And, yeah, there was more, but really, Blagojevich needs to do a better job of delivering a speech.