Thursday, December 15, 2005

Study: Illinois third in dirt bags

DECATUR (ap) -- More than 280 Illinois neighborhoods are among those nationwide with unhealthy levels of dirt bags, an a.p. analysis of federal data found. That ranks Illinois third nationally, behind only Pennsylvania (388) and Ohio (368).

Illinois ranks high because of the number of dirty politicians and a higher-than-normal percentage of lecherous old men. The a.p. study looked at data provided by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency that calculates the health risk scores for long-term exposure to such dirt.

The study found that minorities and the poor in Illinois were more likely to live in neighborhoods served by unscrupulous politicians than their general population numbers would suggest. As for the putrid smell and plumes of smoke emanating from the mouths of seniors, only Hawaii ranks above Illinois, but that could be the result of all the Japanese tourists there.

State and local officials say the results raise concerns but insist Illinois has made great improvements over more than 30 years. "Our programs are working," said the manager of the Illinois Environmental Protection Agency's dirty-old-man control division. "The aged in Illinois are getting less perverted, and the numbers show that."

Activists say such improvements haven't been enough. "It really drives home the need for more work to be done to try to combat these sources of filth," said the director of the Illinois Environmental Council. "I think that is one of those problems that is so pervasive, it is hard to understand the scope of it."

4 Comments:

Anonymous he said she said...

so what are these dirt bag communities, maybe you can shine a spotlight on where the strip clubs, biker bars, message parlors, and other nasty places so we can visit, uh, I mean avoid.

10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the same rank as Pennsyvlania and Ohio... Hmmm. Well them Amish likely leave quite an aromatic trail behind those horse and buggies of theirs. And god knows what political conspiracies they're cookin up within that Dutch tongue. Though I guess Ohio does have that one Neo-Con African American Secretary of Voting Booths. So, those tidbits make PA and OH special. What makes IL dirt so special? Spill it out people! I wanna here about unique dirt.

H20

P.S. Go Bucks!

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Central Illinois has quite a large Amish colony in a town called Arthur. They pump a lot of toxins into the atmosphere while boiling their jam.

6:33 PM  
Anonymous he said she said...

h2o - are you kidding? we have the Daley administration, sure he is a democrat but damn, his shit still does stink and maybe more then his pop, Richard the 1st. And our ex gov Ryan is probably gonna go to jail so that is probably just as bad as OH but the Penn Amish, well, I guess they have us beat

6:53 PM  

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