FC3: What's so Chicago about Navy Pier?

Three Chicago Tribune investigative reporters reported today on how Navy Pier might be in for a major makeover. I'd like to focus on what a colossal waste of time and effort it was on the newspaper's part to bring us such hard-hitting news, but instead I have to wonder how Navy Pier can be "Illinois' top tourist attraction and a populist icon of Chicago's lakefront."

Chicago—and the entire state of Illinois for that matter—has so little to offer visitors that they flock to our own little theme park that looks exactly like every other city's touristy waterfront area. Expensive little souvenir shops, a McDonald's, an amusement-park ride or two, a public radio station, and a theater. No connection to the history of the city. No promotion of natural beauty. Nothing really unique. Nothing that shouts out, "Hey, this is what Chicago is all about!"

But what is Chicago about? If they put in a Second City theater instead of a Shakespeare theatre, that might be closer. But really, there's not much else. Chicago is home of great architecture, which is why Millennium Park is actually a cool addition to the city and, as a tourist trap, does bring visitors closer to what we're all about. Then again, with the McDonald's-sponsored Ferris wheel, perhaps Navy Pier does represent something that Chicago has in spades—political corruption, a city of millions controlled by a few crooked men.

Now, since I'm too hungover to think, I will turn to the great Mike Royko for an explanation of how Navy Pier truly is Chicago:

In a column entitled "What Clout Is and Isn't," which appeared in the Daily News on June 7, 1973, Mike Royko tackled a definition of clout (from Encyclopedia of Chicago:

[W]hat clout is in Chicago is political influence, as exercised through patronage, fixing, money, favors, and other traditional City Hall methods.

The easiest way to explain clout is through examples of the way it might be used in conversation.

“Nah, I don't need a building permit. —I got clout in City Hall."

“Hey, Charlie, I see you made foreman. Who's clouting for you?"

“Lady, just tell your kid not to spit on the floor during trial and he'll get probation. I talked to my clout and he talked to the judge."

“My tax bill this year is $1.50. Not bad for a three-flat, huh? I got clout in the assessor's office."

“Ever since my clout died, they've been making me work a full eight hours. I've never worked an eight-hour week before."

“My clout sent a letter to the mayor recommending me for a judgeship. Maybe I'll enroll in law school."

Get the idea? Clout is used to circumvent the law, not to enforce it. It is used to bend rules, not follow them.