Sunday, December 04, 2005

Sunday afternoon AM radio

We now return to the postgame show.

"I'm in the locker room with Big Defensive Player Man. BDPM, great game."

"Thanks. I want to thank God for helping out on such a cold afternoon here in the greatest city with the greatest fans."

"Your team won yet again because of a great defensive effort. How important was this for you?"

"Oh, it was huge. We have to defend the home turf, you know."

"That play you made on third down in the fourth quarter. Explain how you did that."

"Well, you know, I was in the right place at the right time. We practiced that play all week. And I have to say, I did my job."

"You guys have won a bunch of games this year. How have you done it?"

"Well, as you know, we had to overcome a lot of adversity. And we did. And we're a team. We play together. As a team. That's special."

"Thanks, BDPM, for taking the time. And for agreeing to this interview, here's a gift certificate for ATA airlines, flying to all over the country."

"All right. Thanks."


Hey, BDPM, can I talk to you? I'm from the Daley Show.

"How did you get in here?"

I'm a blogger. Actually, the first blogger to be granted access to the locker room. Can I ask you some questions?

"You got a gift certificate or something?"

Yeah, um, that's what I want to ask you about. How much do you make?

"Well, I did sign a contract for 30 mil over four years, so you figure it out."

You fly a lot?

"Well, we got a road game next week, so yeah."

But have you ever flown ATA?

"No, man, but now that I got this gift certificate ..."

You know what kind of people fly ATA? The kind that can't afford anything else. The kind making 30 grand a year, who get two weeks off a year, so they're taking a trip to visit family in California.

"Yeah and?"

And you make more than the sum of all the passengers on any given ATA flight. Why the hell do you need a gift certificate?

"Cause I did the interview, man."

Yeah, but you're an athlete. Do you really need to get something to tell the reporter the same exact thing that every other player has said and will say? Here, listen:


"Tell us about that last drive of the game."

"Well, we knew we had to come through as a team. And we did. We just had confidence in ourselves, especially the guys up front."

"Thanks for the interview. For coming on, here's a gift certificate to the Stand-Up Squeeze Comedy Showcase, held every Saturday night at Squeeze Billiards & Cafe, 6318 N. Clark, where you can fill out comment cards after the show to let them know what you thought. Plus, there's a raffle and some hot girl might draw your name out of the hat. You can win all sorts of prizes."

"Right on, thanks man. I can't wait for next Saturday."


Post a Comment

<< Home