Sunday, February 12, 2006

Fossett set to set a new record: March with penguins

MANSTON, England (ap) -- American hero/billionaire Steve Fossett, who broke the record for the longest nonstop flight in aviation history Saturday, is preparing for yet another adventure, this time marching with penguins in the frozen tundra of Antarctica

Moments after completing the longest nonstop flight in aviation history with an emergency landing, flying 26,389 miles in about 76 hours, Fossett declared that his next record-setting adventure will be a miraculous love story. The chairman of a Chicago-based options market company will participate in the mating ritual of the emperor penguin. This summer, after a nourishing period of deep-sea feeding, Fossett will pop up onto the ice and begin his procession across Antarctica with a group of penguins.

Hundreds of penguins will converge upon the U.S. adventurer from every direction, moving instinctively toward their mating ground. Once there, they will mingle and chatter until they find the perfect mate--a monogamous match that will last a year, through the brutal winter and into the spring. During that time, the mother will birth an egg and then leave for the ocean to feed again. Fossett will stay to protect the egg through the freezing blizzards and pure darkness of winter, which would be deadly to practically any other species, but not to the resilient Fossett, who has never met a challenge he couldn't complete.

Finally, next spring, the egg will hatch and a baby Fossett will be born. The mother will return from the sea to reunite with the family and feed the starving newborn, while Fossett will finally be relieved of his protective duties after months without food. Then, he will plan his next adventure.

Fossett is no stranger to the record books. He's done a number of different things that are considered to be pretty major adventure. He has circumnavigated the earth in a hot-air balloon. He managed to sail around the world, he has apparently managed to swim the English Channel, he's done the Iditarod. He really is a renaissance adventure man. According to Daley Show sources, his lifetime highlights include:

* Feb. 28-March 3, 2005: First solo, nonstop flight around the world in an airplane.

* Feb. 7-April 5, 2004: Breaks the round-the-world sailing record by six days (58 days, nine hours, 32 minutes and 45 seconds).

* June 19-July 4, 2002: First successful solo balloon flight around the world.

* Feb. 17-21, 1995: First solo balloon flight across the Pacific Ocean.

* Aug. 18, 1963: Breaks Stanford University record, drinking eight beer bongs in one hour.

* Jan. 14, 1961, 7:29-7:31 p.m.: Breaks record for going all the way, sexually, from first base to home with a high school sophomore.

* May 12, 1949: First solo, nonstop ride around the block on a Big Wheel.

* Dec. 1, 1945: Sets personal record of passing gas nonstop for 2 minutes, 8 seconds.

* April 22, 1944: Born in Jackson, Tennessee, after mom was in labor for a record-setting 92 hours.

4 Comments:

Anonymous adp said...

I enjoy reading about Fossett. If I had that much money I'd like to imagine I'd be an avid adventurer. One of my secret little dreams is to do those adventure races with a group of friends. I wonder what Andy's readers would do if they were billionaires? Or even hundreds-of-thousandsaires?

Did you Photoshop that picture yourself? Looks pretty good.

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Molitor said...

As a recruiter I remember back in the late '90's when Mr. Fossett basically closed his investment company in Chicago down to a shell and let go at least 50% of his employees with very little time to look for work so he could concentrate on his expensive hobby. I helped many of those workers who did not have many good things to say about him.

11:06 AM  
Anonymous adp said...

Don't ruin my interest in him!! I know nothing about him as a man or a business man - he just has a life that doesn't seem at all real. I love adventure stories.

Not surprisingly I'm fascinated by mountaineering stories. If I had a billion dollars I'd learn how to climb and train for Everest. Now to just get over that pesky fear of heights.. Oh, and get a billion dollars.

1:08 PM  
Blogger ap said...

yes, I've discovered photoshop ...
I think Fossett is weird, but if I had the money I'm sure I'd do something similar. I know I wouldn't be sitting in front of my damn computer right now photoshopping Dick Cheney's head onto a picture of Aerosmith

9:42 AM  

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